i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
