He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
