I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
