i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
