I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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