i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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