Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
