Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
