Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
