And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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