Farmville is her only friend.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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