No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
