She's JV to your varsity
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
