STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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