Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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