Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
