her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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