please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
