Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
