im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
