My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
