Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
