no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
