Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
