I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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