Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
