hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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