a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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