if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
