Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
