you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
