Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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