Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
