the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
