You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
