What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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