she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
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