all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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