It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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