dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
