Me too!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
