allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
