just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
