still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
