I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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