I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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