Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
