She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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