hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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