I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
