I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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