I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
