i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
