they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
